It is starting to seem like almost routine to beg with the greatest emotion possible for someone not to go when they are leaving. It’s become an expected culture and an over exaggerated unnecessary ritual. As we grow both as people and as communities there come personal circumstances, professional changes and a myriad of other influences which affect each one of us in very unique and special ways. These various things change our direction or our course and we find ourselves at a position where we need to move on. This is not a bad thing. This is not a time to fake a deep emotional loss and beg and plead for them to stay behind. It’s selfish to assume there is no reason better, no cause more worthy, and no personal calling worth a change in a person’s career or volunteer time.

Of course we miss them when they go. Absolutely and without a doubt we thank them for their tremendous time of service. They have given their time and their energy and their life to a cause we share and their impact is often immeasurable.We should be genuine and profuse in our expression of appreciation! We should never, ever, slip into the forced, and faked begging them to not leave and guilt them for the decision they felt best for their personal life. We are blessed by the time we have shared and our friendship extends beyond a community, beyond an occupation. Friendships and families are anchored in much more than code, or work, or any other trivial shared interactions. These continue regardless.

We should always be sure they are not leaving under negative situations and ensure that they are doing what they want to do. That is our duty to them as a friend or even deeper a family member. We should care for them. We should hope for the best for them. We should encourage them to be successful. Let’s be sure to remember leaving is ok. Genuine, heartfelt appreciation is the only necessary response.